Heartbroken

There are awesome parts about being an expat here in Singapore. I've explored that pretty well here on this blog- the food, the places, the school, the people. There are also things that are a lot harder here than they are elsewhere. See, I'm from a small town in Massachusetts. There are definitely exceptions to this, but for the most part, most kids go to university somewhere in New England. Even though they are "on their own", family and friends are never more than a couple of hours away. 

However, kids here in Singapore don't have that luxury. While some kids go back to Korea or India of wherever they are from, most go to the United States. That's 18 hours away by plane, and halfway around the world for general purposes. It's really exciting to go "back to America". Some kids haven't been back in years. We go from one bubble to another- the Singapore bubble to the privileged youth able to attend top universities in the United States bubble. It's pretty darn cool, when you think about it.

However, Nick flies out on Monday. Today was the last time I get to see him in a long while. 

I have concluded that I have never known heartbreak prior to today. 

Remember This?

http://gotgaff.blogspot.sg/

Yup, it's the blog my boyfriend and I used to write together. We hadn't updated it since February- actually, since before our anniversary. But we never deleted it even when we broke up, and it had 99 posts. So, in celebration of the 100th post, I'm putting it up here to get some views.

Also readers, what is your favourite memory of someone significant in your life? I think if that person is really significant, you don't have a favourite memory. You can just come up with random things and ask them if they remember it too. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. Often, they remember it a little bit differently than you.

This school day wasn't so bad.  I don't know if I'm overreacting to all this social stuff and should just brush it off, or if it's a really big deal like all the books, movies and magazines make it out to be. It was a little offensive to be asked to move so some girl could talk to her friends. That wasn't particularly nice. The other stuff though, I think I invent it in my head.

It's not even that I want to "fit in" with everyone else and be some popular social butterfly. I just want a friend or two- that's all.

Maybe that's what being an expat is about. It's learning how to make friends quickly, not getting hurt when people are mean, and bouncing back from everything. In that case- I still have loads to learn.

Restart

Note to all underclassmen: Do not, in your junior year, have all your friends be seniors. Because guess what? They graduate, and next thing you know, you're eating lunch alone outside your old European History teacher's room.

It's time for me to restart. I don't have much time left in this country- a year is a short time compared to how long I'll probably walk this earth. In the time I'm here, I ought to make the best of it. Yet, it's really hard to make friends. In a lot of ways it feels like I'm a new student again or something- I recognise people but do not know them. The best part of the situation is definitely that I knew this was going to happen, and didn't care in the moment. For the love of everything, don't end up here. It's lonely.

I go to a pretty neat school. My classes are just starting to get interesting (thank goodness), and I'm getting back into the swing of things. I can't find music for my Dance Performance class for the life of me, but that will work itself out in the end. Yet, a huge part of high school is the social side. That's the same everywhere...

In a lot of ways I really wish I had graduated last year. The kids I know who graduated last year can't wait to head off to university. They're ready for their fresh start somewhere else, to meet new people, and get started with their independent lives. I am probably not- I'm the first to admit that. And I know I'll get my chance. But in the mean time.... high school can really be annoying.

Day One Done

I meant to post during lunch today, but I figured my time would be better spent doing some homework in the library. Oops. Well, today was the first day of my senior year, and it was.... underwhelming.

There have been a lot of changes at SAS for this new school year. Three main ones stick out to me in particular.

1. There are LCD screens around the school with a constant international news feed. It's pretty fancy.
2. The dress code changed so on free dress day we either have to wear uniform bottoms, or long pants. My question is: what about skirts and dresses? I was planning on wearing a pink polka dot dress next Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes.
3. Our grading system got more "learning based" and less "score based". That means that we get graded on everything from 0-9 (though 0 means you didn't turn it in) and that somehow works out to our GPAs. Many seniors aren't too thrilled as it eliminates A- grades. I personally think it's a little weird because it's not out of 10. Shifting my school's culture from every little percentage point mattering to this will be interesting.

In terms of the day itself... it was interesting. There isn't a "rush day" anymore where you run to all your classes, which was a bit strange. I had two AP courses and Chinese II today.

I was really lonely today. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half, and not having him with me was extremely weird. In addition, my own mediocre decision to do homework during lunch left me largely by myself today. I suppose I've learned something for tomorrow!

Beginnings of the Last Chapter

Tomorrow is the last first day of high school for me. It's the start of my senior year, my third year at SAS. A huge part of me just wants to head off to university already. However, I'm also really glad to be a senior this year. There are definite perks- wearing the red shirt, prancing around in a senior sweatshirt, and showing off what university I chose in a uni sweatshirt once I get accepted.

Moving to Singapore was the biggest change of my life. As a small-town girl from a New England town, moving to a modern, tropical city was massively different. I don't get in the car when I want to go somewhere- I hop on the MRT or try (and probably fail) to navigate the bus system. Taxis are commonplace here, while virtually unheard of in a town with an old Unitarian Church as its real "centre". There'a British English instead of America, which has slowly seeped into my spelling and phrasings. The heat can't be forgotten, nor the smell that I simply associate with "Asia". Singapore has become a home to me, but not "my home", if you will. 

When I was out with my boyfriend today (who graduated last year), I realised that this blog is going to come to an end some day. I haven't quite decided when that is yet, but I don't have to. However, being "Sent to Singapore" only involves three years of my life. The next blog I write will be about wherever I end up, US or UK. I'll figure this out later, but I hope I keep some of the readers that have followed me throughout this journey.

Well, time to turn the page and write the last chapter. 

Proof I Went to England

Keele University

Keele

Lancaster Castle

Bath

Roman baths in Bath

Camden Markets

City of Bath

Me in Lancaster. I'm about 5'1, so figure out how tall the doors are!

Exhausted in England

Today is the last day. It's the last day of university visits, and it's a glorious one. I'm exhausted from this trip, though probably not as tired as my dad, who did all the driving. I'll actually try and post photos when I get home this time, unlike previous trips where I say I'll post, but then I don't. In the meantime, here's a list of things


Universities I saw:

Leeds
Keele
Lancaster
Sussex
Essex
Bath
Bristol

Things I've Eaten:

Roast Beef
Mushy Peas
Chips
Chorizo from Spain
Olives from Italy
Moroccan food

Things I've Seen:

Billy Elliot
Stomp
The Mousetrap
The Ultimate Hipster (with a beard, wearing square-framed glasses, and  holding a type-writer keyboard for his laptop)
Lancaster Castle
7 schools
Many sheep and cows
The sky