I am pretty horrible about posting these days. I've just been horribly busy with this nonsense called high school, which is an mix of the biggest-waste-of-time, the mildly-entertaining-but-really-stupid, and the actual-learning-experience. I feel like since I've become a second semester senior the only thing I'm motivated to do is pass.
Dance is also keeping me busy, but part of me doesn't enjoy it as much as I used to. I know taking a break from it isn't necessarily the answer- and I'm totally tied up until after the show. Choreography is exhausting and teaching is less rewarding than everyone makes it out to be. Hopefully at the end of the day everything will look lovely, but until then, it drags.
It's prom season again, the third one for me, and the last. It's fun to listen to who is going to ask who, how, when, where... etc. I'm pretty certain I'm going, and I have an idea for who may ask me as a friend. Not certain about after-prom, since I'm underage and really do not know anyone in my grade. Maybe a movie after prom would be fun. It's not a necessity to get wasted on prom night, after all. We'll see how that works out. Buying a dress is going to be fun, especially since I plan on going with friends again this year. I've never worn a red dress... hmm!
Sitting around in the library waiting for my rehearsal to start, something occurred to me. High school is an extremely artificial environment, and attending high school in Singapore is a little like existing in a bubble in an aquarium. The things I care about now I know I won't be caring about in the future. I'm tired now, but I know I will be more tired later as a proper adult. Maybe this is what all those fancy psychologists are talking about when they say, "delayed adulthood and extended adolescence". I honestly have no idea why people enjoy being high schoolers, except that everything is basically taken care of. I can only fall so far or rise so high, after all. Everything stays suspended in the air, hanging, waiting to drop.
Also, why the heck don't students here use this library? It's massive, beautiful, and has loads of books. It's right depressing to be from the first generation that really does not read. As we lose the beauty of literature in favour of Buzzfeed and Twitter, we lose a complexity of thought. I hope there are always English majors, even if they can't get jobs, because at least they will know how valuable it is to expand one's mind and read.